In which I realize far too late that I have chosen the wrong university to attend

Man, it's amazing the kind of halftime show you can pull off when you don't have only ten poorly-funded band members trying to share the field with 412 vapid cheerleaders.

There are certain high schools around here that could possibly learn a lot from this, but then again, who needs silly things like funding for the arts, when you can have hundreds of teenage girls in miniskirts kicking their legs? It's not like the people demanding all the funding for the cheerleaders are just a bunch of perverted old men who like looking up the skirts of underage girls, nosiree! I'm sure they only go to Jitty Joe's for the ice cream, too.

Meanwhile at 'Da U, they have replaced all of the bench seats in the second floor cafeteria of the Guster center with new ones.

Approximately one month before said cafeteria closes.

For good.

As in, "the building is being demolished."

As if it wasn't bad enough that they had just spent a small fortune renovating said building two years ago.

(Maybe they're just upset that I found Yuki?)

Still a pain in the ass at 4 AM, though

It's kind of nice to see that I'm not the only one who has had to resort to the old "Bed or Chair System". In fact, it seems to be a time-honored tradition. Of course, the best solution seems to be to get a nice, big apartment and clear the local IKEA of shelving units, but A: I'm stuck in retail for at least another two months, and B: there's no IKEA around here, anyway.

I have begun collecting figures. My status as "that one eccentric unmarried uncle everybody has" is now permanently cemented.

Update: I have managed to work the "Bed or Chair System" into today's Japanese homework:

ねる前に、ベッドの上にあるDVDの山をいすに移動しなくちゃいけません。

Before I go to sleep, I must move the mountain of DVDs that is on my bed over to the chair.

I have no idea if this is entirely correct, but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough when the teacher docks me three letter grades for using にinstead of へ or something silly like that. Seriously, that's what we're dealing with this semester. We're already planning a sting operation to go to Japan and drag last year's instructor back, kicking and screaming if necessary.

Bug Bouncer

So as I was in the kitchen a while ago, looking for the usual late-night "I should really be writing that paper, but I don't feel like it" snack, I spotted this really big, really nasty centipede hanging out on the wall. I lunged into the closet and pulled out the old bug spray, and gave it a shot. It immediately dropped to the floor, and began slowly wandering about randomly, stopping every couple of seconds to look around. I began blowing on it to coax it towards the back door, and eventually got it to wander outside.

As I was closing the door behind it, I came to the realization that I had just escorted a drunk centipede out of the house.

This amuses me for some reason.

And on that note, here's a squirrel:

Her last fan

Leaving breakfast at the Guster Student Center today, I saw an old man walking up the Commons carrying two trash bags, and wearing a Hillary Duff T-shirt.

Just another day in Scranton.

Festa Etiquette

Some advice for those of you attending La Festa Italiana this weekend:

Do: Enjoy your food while standing off to the side, out of the way of walking traffic.

Don't: Just plop your plates down on top of your baby stroller and proceed to gather around it and have a picnic right in the middle of the sidewalk, causing that entire side of the festival to become gridlocked with people trying to get around your lazy asses.

Seriously, what the hell? I've been going to this thing for years now, and I've never seen such a blatant display of sheer ignorance before this year. I witnessed at least four instances of this in just the hour that I was there! Including one group that had the Adams Ave. side (which was already severly narrowed due to the courthouse robb^H^H^H^Hrenovations) blocked to the point where only one person could pass at a time. They really should make it a rule that you are allowed, or even encouraged, to plow over such people.