Update: I have managed to work the "Bed or Chair System" into today's Japanese homework:
ねる前に、ベッドの上にあるDVDの山をいすに移動しなくちゃいけません。
Before I go to sleep, I must move the mountain of DVDs that is on my bed over to the chair.
I have no idea if this is entirely correct, but I'm sure I'll find out soon enough when the teacher docks me three letter grades for using にinstead of へ or something silly like that. Seriously, that's what we're dealing with this semester. We're already planning a sting operation to go to Japan and drag last year's instructor back, kicking and screaming if necessary.