Sunday, November 11, 2001

What's wrong with this picture?

From this weeks Best Buy ad:

You got Macintosh in my Windows! You got Windows in my Macintosh!

Yes, I know it's pointless, and it's probably happened thousands of times before, but I have a 10-page paper that I need to get done for Tuesday, so there you go. Luckily, some graphic designer was so excited about getting a picture of his kid into a circular for a national electronics chain that he got his operating systems crossed up. Otherwise, I would have had to bring out the Internet Landfill Dancers for this week's update, and believe me, nobody wants to see that.

In other news: my car, the infamous Screaming Kiwi of the Apocolypse™, lost a hubcap the other day. I was driving along aimlessly, as usual, when suddenly I heard this "Whump! Whump! Whump! BANG!" noise. I looked in the mirror, and saw my hubcap literally flying over the street. I went back and, after a little searching, managed to find about three fourths of it. I still have no idea how the hell that happened. Anybody out there have any ideas? Oh, wait, that's right, nobody reads this. But just in case a few people happen to stumble upon this page, go post your theories about what happened to my hubcap in the comments. The best one wins a FREE copy of the University of Scranton Mission Statement! Operators are standing by, so act now!

Next week: John Goodman, Eric Estrada, and the music of Dido. Okay, maybe not, although I may be able to get Dido. She's on Kilborn practically every other day, so why not?

Sunday, November 04, 2001

Even More Lame Car Stuff

Being hopelessly stuck in Scranton, Pennsylvania for the time being, I tend to have a tremendous amount of free time on my hands. (No, really?) Indeed. Nothing whatsoever has happened in this town since that banana truck crashed, which I think was about 40 years ago. The entire city is nothing more than a series of small bars and large churches, with Italian restaurants and double-block houses thrown in occasionally to mix things up a little. As you can imagine, this is a rather lousy place to live for a non-drinker who doesn't believe in organized religion. Thankfully I at least enjoy Italian food and live in a double-block house, otherwise I probably would have flung myself from the steeple of St. Luke's Episcopal by now. Don't even get me started on the lame concert schedule. (I don't like Lynard Skynard or Elton John already, so stop booking them every damn month!)

Anyway, quite a bit of this free time happens to fall between my classes, in increments too small to leave the vicinity of campus, but too large to do anything on campus, as the only two things that a commuting student can do at the University of Scranton are either eating or studying, and I don't think I've needed to study for anything since 10th grade. So during this time, I usually end up just walking around Downtown (Ha!) Scranton aimlessly, searching desperately for anything that is even remotely amusing or interest...


Bah, I knew that was going to happen. Anyway, here are a couple more odd cars that I've spotted in these travels to nowhere, in addition to the PenguinMobile and the HoagieMobile:

First off, we have this little dandy:

The CableMobile!

So here, not only do we have the old front bumper held on by duct tape trick, but for some strange reason there is also an audio/video cable taped into the mess. I'd like to know just what the hell the reasoning was behind that one. It's obviously not supporting anything. Maybe they plug a DVD player into it and watch movies, which are somehow projected onto the road via the headlights. A safe way to drive, I'm sure.

And then, there's this:

Be glad you can't see this.

Uhh... yeah. It's a minivan... with a spoiler... Not much that needs to be said here, really. In fact, I think it would be best if we just mercifully ended the whole thing here. There can't possibly be a way to top this.

Next week: College Roomies From Hell!!!'s own Maritza Campos drops by to give an enlightening lecture on the post-WWII reconstruction of Japan and its relation to the size of Brett Somers' sunglasses through the years! Don't miss it! Even though you will, since it's not going to happen!