Tuesday, May 29, 2001

Interview with a University of Scranton Student

Good evening, and welcome to Views Across America(TM Patent Pending), the show where we discuss current affairs with ordinary people just like you. I'm Edwin L. McGinty, and tonight, we have with us Mr. Nick Foogmaroon, a college Student from the University of Scranton in Scranton, Pennsylvania. Good evening, Nick.

Nick: Yo, yo, yo! Whut up, homeslice? Shout out to all my peeps back at Redington! WHOOOOOOO!

E: Uhh... yeah. Anyway, tonight we'll be discussing the ongoing tension in the Middle East. Nick, what are your thoughts on the conflict between Israel and Palestine?

N: Yo, Israel? You damn right I's real! Yo, check 'dis out, me an' Lou, we's got drunk and rolled peoples' trash cans an' sh*t down 'da hill inta traffic. You shoulda seen all 'dem cars tryin' to miss 'em. Damn, 'dat was some cool sh*t.

E: Ooooo-kay. Well, what did you think of all the recent bombings?

N: Yo, did you's see 'dat one video, where all's da people was dancin' and sh*t, and 'da floor caves in, and they's all screamin' an' sh*t? Me and Lou's was watchin' 'dat sh*t all weekend. 'Dat wus some funny sh*t.

E: Actually, that was just a structural failure, not a bo...

N: Yo, where's 'da beer?

E: Excuse me?

N: Yo, I's t'aught there's supposed to be beer at 'dese tv 'tings?

E: Uh, no, we don't have beer, sorry.

N: Yo, 'dis place sucks! I's goin' back to 'da crawl. C-ya! *Storms out of studio

E: Uhhh... okay. That's all the time we have for this week. Tune in next week, when we'll be discussing President Bush's energy plan with an Amish farmer. For Views Across America(TM Patent Pending), this is Edwin L. McGinty. Thank you, and goodnight.

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