Oh yeah, we're really grasping for updates now.

Well, it's finally happened. I've gotten so bored, so desperate for something, anything to do, that I'm actually going to write a post listing the contents of my desk. I frankly never thought that it would ever really come to this, but here it is, so you might as well enjoy. Just be thankful that this hasn't degraded into Ben Schumin's site yet. That will probably be the next update. Anyway, first off, we have my main computer desk:

Oh yeah, it's a mess. As you can see, the fire marshall is going to run in here any day now and shut down this whole operation. Anyway, starting from the left, you have the ever-present Far Side calendar, an empty Pepsi can, then a huge pile of junk, including:

• A microphone
  
• Two McDonald's coupon books
  
• A TV/VCR remote
  
• A DVD remote
  
• Napkins, napkins, napkins
  
• Several thousand manuals and driver disks strewn about randomly.
  
• A bunch of junk mail envelopes from such fine institutions as the University of Scranton, various credit card companies, and Suncoast, the official overpriced video store of the Internet Landfill
  
• About $20 in rolled change that keeps rolling off the desk onto the keyboard while I'm trying to typjhkj7uyku
  
• Battery pot luck
  
• And finally, somewhere behind that pile is a Zip drive, as well as the key to everlasting youth.
  

In front of that, I have a pair of headphones hooked directly into the soundcard, because my computer's speakers absolutely suck. To the right of that, there's a cheap souvenir thermometer from Florida that's about 20 degrees off at all times. Then there's a stack of CD-R discs that I can't use because my burner is dead. On top of that, we have a bunch of Zip and floppy disks. Next to that we have a couple storage boxes, containing even more Zip disks, and an ethernet hub. Other things to note:

• That yellow box of Pepto-Bismol tablets above the microphone. Expiration date: September 1996.
  
• Yes, that is the floating, disembodied head of David Byrne, and no, he's not happy to see you.
  
• One of the CD's in that shelf on the left is the soundtrack to the first Flintstones movie. I believe I'm the last person in the world who actually owns a copy of that.
  
• I'm not going to even get started on that huge mass of papertude in between the CD's there, so don't even ask.
  
• Why do I have two mice? The one on the right is for my other computer. And look, here's that other computer now! (Yow! Somebody give me an award for that segue!)
  

Uhh... yeah. Well, there's a dollar bill on top of the computer there, I think that's been there since 1997, and... uhh... a keyboard. Yeah, that's it, a keyboard. Oh, and napkins, lots and lots of napkins. Napkins napkins napkins...


*BLAM!*